Envy:


Date of death: 22nd April 1923, 7:30PM

Chipboard Poem:
Envy - n 1. A feeling of antagonism towards someone because of some Good which she is enjoying but which one does not have oneself. 2. See Eve-A-Go-Go.

Death Certificate:
Eve believed the grass outside her jungle was much greener,
So the happiness of all the other girls only made her meaner.
But deep down in hell she no longer feels the jungle heat,
For she is put in freezing water from her head down to her feet.

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Gluttony:


Date of death: 29th July 1974, 6:30PM

Chipboard Poem:
Gluttony - n. 1. Excessive eating and drinking. 2. See Vulgar the Obscene.

Death certificate:
The excessive food and drink that he craved,
Sent this butcher to an early grave.
Now trapped in Hell all he can partake,
Is being force-fed rats, toads and snakes.

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Greed:


Date of death: 14th June 1946, 2:22PM

Chipboard Poem:
Greed - n. 1. Excessive desire for material wealth or gain. 2. See Miss McGreedy.

Death Certificate:
Lavish dresses and gems were her only attire,
Filling her piggy banks is all she required.
Now she is chained to her earthly spoils,
To be eternally boiled alive in oils.

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Lust:


Date of death: 22nd April 2002, 4:15PM

Chipboard Poem:
Lust - n. 1. Strong desire without idealized or spiritualized feelings. 2. See Mistress Demonika.

Death Certificate:
Because of her desires in pleasures of the flesh,
The fires of Hell were the fate dealt our Mistress.
Smothered by brimstone and consumed by flames,
She writhes in the underworld eternally in pain.

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Sloth:


Date of death: 5th April 1976, 9:00AM

Chipboard Poem:
Sloth - n. 1. Habitual laziness, failure to pursue virtue. 2. See Bed Time Sadie.

Death Certificate:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to hell my soul to keep.
I hope I die before I wake,
And am thrown into a pit of snakes.

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Vanity:


Date of death: 29th August 1958, 5:38PM

Chipboard Poem:
Vanity - n. 1. The state or fact of being futile, worthless, or empty of significance. 2. See Madame Dysmorphic.

Death Certificate:
Madame Dysmorphic was never attractive enough,
So Dr. Dedwin called her bluff.
He cut her & stitched & made so pretty,
She died on the table, oh what a pity.

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Wrath:


Date of death: 5th April 1908, 8:00PM

Chipboard Poem:
Wrath - n 1. Rage, Passionate displeasure. 2. See Bad Bette Jane.

Death Certificate:
Bad Bette Jane was often red in the face,
A screaming little spoiled rotten disgrace.
Always allowing her rage to thrive,
So now she must be dismembered alive.

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